In Search of a Child
One Couple's Quest to Conceive, and the Charity Their Journey Spawned
September 25, 2008
By Merrill Witty
Photography by Jim Graham
HelpUsAdopt.org’s Becky Snyder Fawcett and Kipp Fawcett, with son Jake.
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YahooMyWebBecky Snyder moved to Baltimore’s Federal Hill right after college. She had met her boyfriend, Kipp Fawcett, while they were students at Franklin & Marshall College, and he moved to Baltimore with her. Becky worked as a senior account executive for Baltimore Magazine; Kipp began his career in finance at T. Rowe Price.
Several years after they married, Becky left the publishing world and launched The Fawcett Group, a luxury lifestyle public relations and marketing agency. “The reason I started my own firm,” she says, “was to have time for a child.”
Becky found her wish was not to be easily granted. She spent four years undergoing fertility treatments and pursuing adoption possibilities.
Their long and frustrating, but ultimately rewarding, journey led the couple, who moved to New York City two years ago, to launch a non-profit grant-giving agency called HelpUsAdopt to assist couples unable to adopt for financial reasons.
What follows is an abbreviated diary chronicling Becky’s attempts to have a child, in her own words.
2002
After a year of trying to get pregnant at age 32, I asked my OB/GYN if I should see a fertility specialist. His answer was no. “Just relax and give it some time, maybe in another year if nothing happens,” he said. I went to the specialist anyway and it’s a good thing I did. Our infertility issues were so complicated that we skipped the use of oral stimulant drugs and inseminations and went straight to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We chose our infertility doctor by reputation. We had heard that he was aggressive in his practices and had a high rate of pregnancy.
The fact that his office was two miles away would prove to be convenient when I started to have daily appointments/bloodwork/ultrasounds, sometimes five days in a row.
2003
1st cycle: Our first cycle cost $16,500 (doctor’s fee $7,500, lab fee $4,000, drugs $5,000). Our insurance covered nothing. The drugs (hormones and stimulants) gave me panic attacks. The small shots (that Kipp administered) in my thighs gave me bruises. The big shots in the back of my hips made it hard to move and hard to stay still. There were countless doctor visits, ultrasounds and blood work. Once I was “stimulated” and had produced enough eggs, there was a surgical “egg retrieval.” The eggs were then fertilized and monitored in the lab. Not all of the fertilized eggs survive; the ones that do are transferred back inside. I was sent home for 24 hours of bed rest. Two weeks later: Positive pregnancy test. The next week we had an ultrasound and a due date. A few weeks later we had a heartbeat. At 12 weeks I was considered a “normal pregnant woman” and had seemingly cleared the danger zone.
We had a miscarriage at 14 weeks. Everyone knew.
2nd cycle: We tried again six weeks later. We incurred the same costs. We followed the same drug/injection protocol. There was a retrieval and transfer, just as before. Two weeks later: Negative pregnancy test.
3rd cycle: We took some time to unwind and tried again a few months later. Same costs; same drug/injection protocol. There was a retrieval and transfer, just as before. Two weeks later: Positive pregnancy test. I was pregnant and the due date was my father’s birthday.
We had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, the day before my 35th birthday.
2004
4th cycle: We incurred the same costs plus $4,000 for acupuncture. We followed the same protocols. Two weeks later: Negative pregnancy test. New development: Did I produce enough good fertilized eggs for a frozen cycle?
5th cycle: I continued with acupuncture, $4,000. Having a frozen cycle of eggs saves on the doctor’s fee, lab charges and drugs. This time the cost was only $8,000 and slightly less invasive. No retrieval necessary, only a transfer. Two weeks later: Positive pregnancy test.
Miscarried at 10 weeks, December 23rd 2004.
Total cost: $82,000 in after-tax dollars. We had drained our savings.
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I just wanted to thank you for putting the word out about Helpusadopt. I am a applicant who is in the process of adoption. I was not awarded the grant on my first attempt, but the words of support from Ms. Fawcett were priceless.
True love transcends human comprehension and it fills the soul with such joy. So, is the sharing of Mrs. Fawcett’s testimony of a marriage that was committed to go through the pain of becoming one and receive a blessing. Thank you Jake for being that blessing sent by God to fulfill the desire of this couples heart !!! Keeping you in prayer——-Always !!!
The Chandler’s