GEMs in the Rough
After-school Program Empowers Girls to Shine
October 17, 2008
By Jane Marion
Debbi Weinberg, second from left, shares a moment with GEM staff and participants during their “BeDazzle 2008″ fundraiser.
-
Email This Post
Print this article!
Digg
del.icio.us
Mahalo
StumbleUpon
YahooMyWeb
Debbi Weinberg, founder and chair of Girls’ Empowerment Mission (GEM), proudly plays a cell phone message from “one of my girls,” as she calls them.
“I just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you and I appreciate all that you’ve done because you really didn’t have to do it, but you did it anyway. I called to say, ‘Hi,’ and to tell you that I love you, ” says the young woman, a freshman at Howard University who graduated from Weinberg’s after-school outreach program.
Though the message is months old, the sentiment is not. Ever since GEM’s inception in 2004, Weinberg has helped fortify more than 50 girls in one of Baltimore County’s neediest neighborhoods — all of whom she fondly refers to as her “daughters.”
Four years ago, in Weinberg’s work as guidance counselor at Chesapeake High School in Baltimore County’s Essex area, she was alarmed by what she saw happening to her student population, especially the young women she counseled.
Many were victims of abuse and neglect, some had turned to drugs for solace and others were getting pregnant. All of these scenarios were a far cry from the world in which her own sons — Jesse, a high-school student at The Park School, and Tyler, attending college at the University of Maryland — were being raised in and Weinberg was not willing to be complacent.
With no prior experience in the nonprofit world, Weinberg, who has a master’s degree in school counseling from The Johns Hopkins University, assembled a group of community leaders — from Karen Bokram of Girls’ Life magazine to Scott Raymond of Living Classrooms Foundation — to help her formulate a plan to help better the odds for these young women.
GEM, which is free of charge to all participants, is a three-year, after-school program focused on providing cultural, recreational, social, educational and professional opportunities. The program, the only one of its kind in the Baltimore area, meets twice a month and includes seven overnight retreats.
Thanks to GEM, many of the students are leaving their neighborhoods to meet with leaders in law, attend plays and connect with each other in ways they have never done before. With a $180,000 operating budget from public and private sources, Weinberg, who rents minivans each month to transport the girls, has shown how a small idea can take flight.
From her elegant home in Owings Mills, with golden retriever Joey and Tibetan terrier Howie by her side, Weinberg recently discussed her accomplishments.
Q: Why did you decide to start GEM?
DW: I worked for Baltimore County for 20 years, and for 10 of those years, I was a special education teacher. I taught kids with emotional and learning disabilities. After that I got my master’s in school counseling and I worked at Woodlawn High School for five years before going to Chesapeake High School in Essex, where I worked for seven years. The kids kept coming in every day, and they would tell me the bad decisions, the risky decisions, the dangerous decisions they would make. Many of them shared the abuse and the neglect that was happening in the home and I already knew about the drug activity and the violence on every corner. I lost a couple students to violence, drowning, shootings and incarceration. I just kept thinking, “I can’t make the difference I want to make in these kids lives as a counselor,” and I started to think what could I do that would help.
Q: Where some people would be discouraged or jaded from this kind of work, you weren’t. Did it make you want to do more?
DW: Yes, I’d come home from work every day and say to my husband, “If I could just bring this girl home, her life would be so different.” But I also felt very committed to my family to not necessarily bring some of those issues into my home.
Q: Why did you decide to focus on girls?
DW: It seemed like the girls were the ones putting themselves more in harm’s way than the boys, even though I know that’s not true. The girls were the ones who were pregnant. The girls were the ones getting raped and complaining of abuse from the parents.
Q: So how did you take it to the next step?
DW: I started by talking to the girls and then I got together a group of mostly women who were in social work, psychology, education — people who worked with girls who could help me take my brainchild and make something of it. From that, we came up with the format of GEM.
Q: How did you come up with the name GEM?
DW: I loved the idea of GEM because it brings in all the things about gemstones and how they are rare, unique and radiant. Each group studies the gems, and they pick the gem that they think describes their group the best.
Q: What made you decide on a three-year format?
DW: One of my really big ideas was to take the girls out of their environment for a long period of time. My original thought was to a group home, but every girl I talked to said, “No, I know my life is screwed up, but that’s my home. That’s where I feel secure.” They didn’t want to leave, no matter how troubled their homes were. They didn’t want to abandon their families, even though I think it would have been in their best interest to get out.
Q: There are a lot of people who have great ideas, but they don’t necessarily have the know-how or wherewithal to take them to the next step. What made your program different?
DW: I knew the right people. I’ve lived in the community my whole life. I knew I could get support. I knew where to go for money. I knew nothing about nonprofits when I started this, but I learned so much. I met other people at conferences who had great ideas, but they had no idea where to get money and that was a challenge. That’s what I try to help the girls do – find the connectors. I feel like that’s what separates upper-class people from lower-class people: They know where to go for their resources. If they need a doctor, they don’t go to the emergency room; they call someone and say, “Who would you go to?” These girls have no connectors. They don’t have a place to start.
Q: So how do you help them connect?
DW: One thing we do beginning in their second year of career exploration is something called a yellow pages resource directory. When they graduate from GEM, they will have a yellow folder with yellow pages and every woman who has ever spoken to us gives us her information and they write it down. So if they need a lawyer, this might not be the right lawyer, but they can say, “I’m at GEM. You spoke to my group. Whom would you recommend?”
Q: What are you looking for when the girls apply to get into the program?
DW: We look for girls who demonstrate motivation and potential in the classroom. They don’t have to be “A” students, but we ask ourselves, “Who can embrace what we are offering?”
Q: How do the girls’ families feel? Are they ever threatened or resentful?
DW: As part of the application process, before the girls are accepted, the parents must attend a mandatory meeting so they don’t feel threatened and so they understand what we are trying to do. The parents are so supportive and appreciative of everything we offer their daughters.
GEM girls sail on the Living Classrooms Foundation schooner Lady Maryland.
Q: Tell us about some of your after-school retreats.
DW: We take seven retreats a year for team building and confidence building. The goal is just to get them out of their community into what we call a drama-free zone. We tell them to turn off the cell phones and to focus on yourself and the programming.
We had a great speaker at our (recent) retreat, a retired model named Chloe Taylor Brown who wrote “Getting Ready Chloe Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image,” a self-help book about being the best you can be for women and girls. She talked about being present in your life and being in control of your own destiny. Here she was, living the life of Riley as a successful model and (with a) career (that took her) all over Europe. She had three children and her son fell in her backyard pool and drowned at 3 years old. She talked about how she had to pull from a deep depression.
We also get them out of their community. Many of them have never been to Towson, which is 10 minutes away on I-695. They haven’t been out of their little insular community — that community is all they know and the community obviously doesn’t offer a whole lot. Most of the kids live in subsidized housing projects with no bushes.
Q: Tell us about some of the regular after-school programming.
DW: In the first year, during self-discovery, for instance, we learn about hobbies because most of them don’t have them. We have women come in and teach everything from knitting to sewing to aerobics and cooking. When they have free time, they need to do something productive — not vegging in front of the TV or going on the corner where there’s all kinds of dangers or getting involved in drugs or sex or all the evils we know.
Q: How do you think GEM has changed their lives?
DW: They all graduated from high school. Last year, we had nine seniors graduate and six went away to four-year colleges where they went away from home, which is huge. The school has 20 percent go to four-year colleges, so the fact that we had 80 percent is incredible — and they all completed that first year.
Q: I’ve heard you give them carte blanche to call anytime, and every girl and parent has your cell phone number. What kinds of things do they call for?
DW: They usually call asking for advice. “What should I write on this job application?” or “I’m in a fight with my boyfriend, what should I do?” (Recently), I was on my way to dinner and I get this text message from one of my seniors saying, “I need a thesis statement for my paper on capital punishment. What should I write?”
Q: Are there any success stories that make you particularly proud?
DW: The fact that all these girls who graduated the program have completed their first year of college is amazing to me. I don’t know what the statistics are, but I do know they are stacked against them. But here they are at Morgan State, at Coppin State University, at Howard University, at University of Maryland. One of my seniors was a valedictorian at Chesapeake last year and she got a pretty big scholarship to the honors program at University of Maryland.
Q: So you continue to see the girls after they’ve graduated from the program?
DW: GEM is not over when they graduate. People are always asking me if I have daughters, and I say, “I have 50 daughters.” Those girls are my best PR. These girls feel so special to be a part of GEM. They know that GEM is a link for them forever. When the seniors graduate, they will come back to be mentors. I can’t think of a better way for them to give back than to continue that wonderful, positive cycle.
Q: What has GEM taught you about life?
DW: It has taught me that one person can make a difference. It has taught me that it does take a village and that there are so many great people in the community who have been willing to help me. It has taught me that with support and nurturing that these girls can shine given the opportunity. My children were born into this wonderful, loving home with two parents, role models and opportunities galore. These students have never been shown the way. If they are shown what’s out there, then maybe they will aspire to become more than their parents have — and most parents want more for their children.
Q: It sounds as though you’ve gotten back as much as you’ve put in.
DW: I have derived more benefits from doing this than I ever imagined. From the wonderful women I’ve met to the lives I’ve impacted to the girls who have impacted my life, I’ll never be the same person. I’m so full and so fortunate. I can’t think of anything I’m lacking in my life, and I think GEM has really helped to make me feel fulfilled.
Q: What is the core message you want to instill?
DW: We really teach them about feelings and life skills. It’s all about making them into well-rounded girls who can handle anything, who have confidence and grace and skills. I like to say, “You can’t choose what you were born into, but you can choose where you are going.”
Interested in becoming a tutor for GEM? E-mail Debbi Weinberg at debb...@comcast.net.
Gingerbread - Sweet and Spicy Heaven
Easing Down I-95
Online Shopping Takes Off
Overcoming Holiday Overload
Tilghman’s Winter Tranquility
Petters, Ponzi & The Scheme Scene
Cool To Clip!
For Baby Boomer Women, Social Networking is Essential
The Mossy Greensward
Holiday Cheer
Allergy-Free Season’s Eatings